Monthly Archives: August 2014

The Worst Place This Could Have Gone

et’s recap: I optioned a script to a producer. My manager will also be a producer on the project. I was asked to do a small unpaid rewrite to bring the script up to where the producer thought it ought to be in order to court a director or a star (the second step in finding money for any film project).

The results are in on my little unpaid rewrite.

And they’re not good. Beyond not good, the rewrite seems to have triggered a tidal shift in how Producer is now looking at the project.

You hear about this sort of thing. You see it parodied in television shows about Hollywood. The absolutely insane notes that producers give writers. Is it complete and total lack of understanding for how a story can be told? A juvenile terror over suddenly realizing that you’ve put money into optioning a script and you’re worried what all those stars and directors you want to send it to will think?

What ever it is, it’s remarkably… Sad.

We conferenced.

I listened.

They sent their new notes.

I read them.

I laughed and all but cried.

It seems Producer Jr. (the fledgling hire at Producer’s newly established production company) is all about #trends. At least that’s what these new notes indicate. And the goal appears to be rewrite the script with as many buzzwords and sexy characters as possible.

And that’s fine. When it comes to selling out I’m the first to buy in. This is a Hollywood action movie not art. I want it to get made so that I can get paid.

So you want trendy tripe? Let’s get t’werk.

Here’s the tragedy though… The complete and total lack of understanding for story. The changes they’re proposing – adamant about implementing – would fundamentally alter the core story and characters. It’s such an overhaul that they didn’t even dare ask for another unpaid rewrite. This one would indeed be the paid rewrite agreed to in my option agreement. A rewrite I was told earlier would be saved until they’d found their director and received his/her notes.

The domino effect their changes would effect upon the script is tricky to explain without detailing the entire story. But it would be the equivalent of say… Asking to rewrite Jaws without a shark. And a protagonist obsessed with a shark. Or obsessed with anything at all. In fact, do we really need to set this by the ocean?

I know that sounds like a glib simplification. But that’s what this boils down to.

And they don’t see it. They don’t understand why what they’re asking intrinsically crumbles the entire structure of the story.

In a word: Sad.

This turn leaves me extremely disappointed. Yet not at all surprised. It’s everything that you’ve ever heard about how backwards Hollywood is and yet here I am trying my hardest to be a part of it.

Which may make the situation sad and the producers ridiculous, but it makes me the most pathetic one of all.



Filed under The Journey

First Hollywood General Meeting

 think I just had my first Hollywood general.

A meeting about nothing in particular.

I didn’t get a lot of info from Co-Manager going in. Just that he’d shared Script #1 with a producer and said producer wanted to meet me.

I’m still getting used to this general meeting thing. The concept itself. I’m used to meeting with people for a purpose. One of us wants something from the other. But these general meetings are more like microscopic versions of the cocktail party at an industry conference. Networking meet and greets for two.

And I am not exactly a cocktail party kind of guy.

But this is the business. Can’t fight that.

The producer was a nice guy. Had his whole brief history of me spiel rehearsed and ready. He’s had a lot of recent success getting scripts sold to studios. Told me he’d love to work with me on anything that fits the very specific mandate he’s looking for.

It’s nice to hear that there are people who do know exactly what they want. So many people I’ve met so far in this industry only know what they don’t want.

My spiel, was far less eloquent… Or brief.

It’s come to my attention – too late – that just showing up, isn’t really enough. Unless you’re a good improvisor. After all, I didn’t want something from him. And as that was my understanding of meetings… I was somewhat out of my element.

And I am not a good improvisor.

Worse than being the kind of poor improvisor who freezes, I am, unfortunately, a babbler.

It’s like lost time. Or a what I imagine a drunken bender is like.

By the time I came to, I found myself explaining to him how I like to select what films to watch based on the weather outside.

It was at that point that I put an end to the words coming out of my mouth.

It could have gone better. But at least I know how I can improve for next time:

Turn a general meeting into a pitch.

I don’t mean get super tacky like a cellphone salesman. Just have something to talk about. Something I’m working on. Turn a meeting about nothing in particular into something specific.

It’s not the most groundbreaking realization. But it bears remembering.

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Filed under The Journey